Should you cohabit with your fiance?

Hello young lady and teen girl,
Today, I will be writing on a very interesting topic. 

" Should you cohabit with your fiance?"
Should you cohabit with your fiance?
Cohabitation is an arrangement where two people who are not married live together.

There are two types of cohabitation that I know:

1. Campus coupling, commonly practised in tertiary institutions where a 'boy friend' and 'girlfriend', are living together.

2. A legal arrangement of partnership, practised in some developed countries, where two people live together, for years, mostly throughout their lifetime, even bear children, but without the 'marriage' attachment. This partnership is fast replacing legal marriage.

I will focus on the first type of cohabitation I described (the campus coupling).

What are the reasons why people cohabit?

1. Some couples claim that they should live together to see if they are compatible or not.
2. I love him so much that I can't let him go
3. Financial pressure,  that is, to save money.
4. Accomodation issues
Should you cohabit with your fiance?

By living together, can you actually know if you are compatible or not?

No matter how much you live with someone, you will only get to know what he or she wants you to know. Where there's no commitment, there is usually pretence. 

There's no point seeing whether or not you are compatible with someone you want to marry.

Compatibility is something you consciously build with someone, based on a decision, and a knowing, that, that is the person you want to spend your life with.
Should you cohabit with your fiance?
Also, you need to understand that God is a perfect match maker💃, God is interested in meeting every of your desires, even about your life partner. You just need to trust him. When He leads you to someone, be sure that you are compatible, in every sense of it, and that he has every single thing you desire (and that you need, and even much more). Some might need time to express themselves, some can only be expressed within the confines of marriage and for some, you might have to fan to flame the expression.

 The key therefore, is in trusting the Lord.

I love him or her, and I can't let him or her go

Love let's go, love gives space.  Love does not choke.  If your love cannot let go, then I doubt if it's really love or just lust.
 

What are the disadvantages of cohabiting?

1.Engaging in premarital sex

It is almost humanly impossible except for the highest level of indiscipline and divine grace for two young unmarried people of the opposite sex to live together in one room, without engaging in premarital sex'.
When people cohabit, even if there was an initial agreement as to whether or not they should have sex, they are likely engaging in premarital sex or premarital sexual activities (which is tantamount to premarital sex).

2. Bearing responsibilities that should not be borne. 

Cohabiting interferes with academics, it interferes with purpose. The time that should have been used to seek the Lord, and to discover purpose, you already start to use to start performing wifely duties, and bearing responsibilities that are not yours.

3. Abortion due to unwanted pregnancy.

4. Risk of death or damaged uterus

5. Risk of sexually transmitted diseases

6. Abuse
In most cohabiting relationships, the lady is  usually abused or even beaten especially when there's a quarrel. Cohabiting relationship is usually parasitic mostly on females. 

7. The relationship rarely leads to marriage.
Men most times cohabit with less intention to marry but mostly just as an opportunity for regular sex.
According to research, when a cohabiting relationship leads to marriage, divorce rate is usually high.  
Should you cohabit with your fiance?

SHOULD A CHRISTIAN COHABIT?

DEFINITELY NO

Living together without being married is not part of God's plan.

Here are the reasons why:

1. Cohabiting is licence to premarital sex and to sexual immorality. 

Premarital sex is not part of God's plan. Sex is a beautiful thing created by God to be enjoyed within the confines of marriage, also created by God. Sex before marriage or outside marriage is wrong and violates God's design. What the Lord intends that sex achieves can only be achieved within the confines of marriage.

God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor—
1 Thessalonians 4:3‭-‬4 (NLT)

There's no way you will live with someone you are not married to and be able to stay away from sexual sins.

Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.
Hebrews 13:4 (NLT)

Here's an article I wrote about sexual purity.

2. You have a testimony to preserve.

We are shining lights in our generation.  Even if you are not having sex, and sleeping in different rooms. How about the way people perceive you outside.?  There's a testimony that must be preserved and people are definitely watching you.

3. There's a way to carry yourself as a Christian lady.

Living with each other without being married strips you of that honour and dignity.  Things that should not be seen until you get married are already been seen, like seeing you on towel, seeing your underwears etc, and definitely lusting (even if you claim there's no sex).  There's really nothing to look forward to.  There's nothing left to imagine. No wonder divorce rates are usually very high.

4. There are so many things that should be engaged in as a young person, in which living together denies you those opportunities. Singlehood is a beautiful period. It's a time when you truly know the Lord and know His plans for your life. A time when you are able to set in the path of charting the course of your life. Here's my article on how to maximize your single period.
The responsibility of being married should not be already taken up as a single person. It makes you lose your person. The time meant to find your self and God's will for you is wasted.
Should you cohabit with your fiance?

In conclusion
Cohabiting with  your fiance does not  glorify the Lord. It does not portray a good example and a image of who you really are. In God's kingdom, we don't cohabit. When we have accomodation issues, we look for a beloved sister that can accomodate us, not our fiance.

Sexual immorality is not the Lord's will. The Lord's will is purity in every sense of the word that is being pure in spirit, soul and body.

Grace is available.

Love you loads.



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Comments

  1. Thanks for discussing this important subject! God bless you and your ministry!

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  2. Thank you so much for your comment. Amen to your prayers. God bless you too.

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