How can I maintain a sexually pure relationship?

Hello lady,

How have you been? I have missed you (covering faces). 

So, for a while now, I have been writing about sexual purity. 

Today, I will be writing specifically on how to maintain a sexually pure relationship.

How to maintain a sexually pure relationship
I think that one of the major challenges that people in courtship faces, is maintaining sexual purity. 

There's no doubt that God's will for us is to be sexually pure. I have addressed this in my previous post.

We are sexual beings and when you are in love with someone, that sexuality wants to find expression in displaying your love to that person. 

However, for a believer in Christ, such expressions should wait till the right time before they are allowed to find expression. The right time is marriage. 

So, how do you then maintain sexual purity in your relationship?
How to maintain a sexually pure relationship

1.  Have a clear purpose for your relationship and even for your future marriage

You have to settle the issue of purpose. Why are you in a relationship with him? Answers to that question will guide you on what to do and what not to do.
Let me mention at this point that if you are in a relationship with an unbeliever, there's no way you would be able to maintain a sexually pure relationship. The reason is that your values and mindsets are different. 

2. Have a proper mindset

One of the things you need to change is your mindset and your perception about sexual purity in courtship. Do you believe that sexual purity is not possible? Do you think that everyone is having sex in their relationships? You need to change such beliefs.

How to maintain a sexually pure relationship

3. Talk about the boundaries you want to set

If you have a purpose for your coming together, you will know the boundaries you want to set.
Let me give an instance. 
One of the things we told ourselves when we (my fiance then and I)  wanted to start our courtship was that we wanted to have a perfect testimony.
We knew then that we were going to be doing something like this (ministry to teen girls and young ladies) and we wanted to be a good example. That really guided us in the type of boundaries that we set. We were also very specific about our boundaries. 

4. Be careful about how far you go

I get this question a lot of times, 'How far should we go in a Christian courtship'. My response remains the same. If you are really serious about maintaining sexual purity in your courtship, then, you don't have to go any far at all. 
Some things are better left till the right time. There's no point igniting passions, when you know that you will not follow through. One of the boundaries we set in my courtship was no kissing, no smooching, no caressing boundaries, and even lots more😀. These boundaries really helped us in maintaining sexual purity.

5. Have your personal values

As a lady, have your personal values. Don't be an anything and anyhow goes lady. 
Personally, I had some personal values that I strongly held on to.
*I wanted my first relationship to marriage. That made me really careful of who to say yes to (that does not mean that if your first relationship did not lead to marriage, you are not doing well).

*I wanted my first kiss to be with my husband on my wedding day, plus I couldn't imagine being kissed by someone who's not my husband🙈. It just looked so wrong to me.

*I wanted to marry as a virgin

These personal values guided my own actions in the relationship and that helped matters a lot. For instance, I would not go visiting my fiance dressed in a provocative manner nor would I start to act or touch him in a seductive way. Asides the fact that we wanted a sexually pure courtship, I personally wanted it and craved it so much, and would not let anything tamper with the testimony.

 6. Have people you are accountable to

When you are in a relationship, have mentors that you are submitted to, spiritual leaders that knows about your relationship and that you are accountable to; people that when you visit, and they ask you questions, you don't want to start stammering. Don't be a loner.
How to maintain a sexually pure relationship

7. Watch your association 

Make sure your friends are those who will encourage you to be sexually pure

8. Others

When you visit, don't sleep over. Don't dress provocatively in the presence of one another. Be courteous and modest. Let  every visit be purposeful.

In my next post, I will be sharing on important things to do in courtship. Till then, keep fit😘.

I love you

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